Spence Life Coaching


Non-Violent Communication and Gottman Gentle Start Up Examples and Role Play

by | Feb 28, 2024

In this wonderful video, Julie Gottman demonstrates the art of non-violent communication and the gentle start up form of communication.  This is a form of communication that helps to avoid the reaction of defensiveness and criticism. It allows the doors of communication to stay open and to help both understand each other’s feelings, needs and values (wants).

Some key tips are to focus on expressing your own emotions using terms like sadness, anger, disappointment, and expressing what actions are important to you, rather than expressing your interpretation’s and judgements of the other’s actions (eg: I feel you don’t care about me)

Their role play ends with a concrete action that both can agree on, this action meets the needs and values of each person. 

I highly recommend this video, study and watch it several times to discover a more effective form of communication for all of your relationships. 

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