Spence Life Coaching


How to Deal with Anger

by | Mar 10, 2020

One of the simplest ways that I know of for dealing with anger is as follows:


Put your attention on your body, let yourself feel how your body is feeling. We get caught up in our thoughts and forget that we even have a body, so just put your attention on how your body is feeling right now. Stay present and observe your breathing. See how your breathing is moving your chest up and down. Don’t resist any tension. Don’t try to breathe differently. Just observe. 


Next ask yourself, is my body feeling pain, pleasure, or neutral feelings. Maybe there is back pain, or pain in another area. Or maybe your body is just neutral. 


Next shift your attention to your mind. How is your mind feeling. Is your mind feeling pain, pleasure or neutral. Don’t try to change any of the feelings, just become aware of any feeling and decide whether it is painful, pleasure or neutral. Let yourself really feel the feeling, noting which category is goes in. 


Next turn your attention to the thought , image, words, event that you are holding in your mind. Let yourself think this thought. It may be “he shouldn’t have done that, she did this, they said this, they think this etc. “. Take note of the thought you are holding in your mind. 


Keep awareness of how your mind is feeling when you think this thought (pain, pleasure or neutral). Don’t try to change anything , just observe. Watch with curiosity the thoughts you hold and the feelings that arise. 


Continue to hold this state of mindful awareness as long as you like. Do it with eyes closed if you like, and do it throughout the day during your regular activities, driving, working etc. Make it a lifelong habit. You’ll learn so much about yourself and how your mind works. Enjoy. 


Doug Spence Online Life Coach

-Spence Life Coaching


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