Spence Life Coaching


Counselling and Emotional Pain

by | Apr 26, 2022

Our thinking causes our pain.

Our thinking and perception is the cause of our pain. Emotional pain comes in many forms and varying intensities. One source of our pain happens anytime we experience and perceive a loss such as a death, a breakup, a divorce, our physical abilities or the “loss” of our hopes and dreams. When we perceive loss we feel pain. There are a set of known thought patterns that always cause emotional pain.

We must have “epiphanies” to grow, see things in a new way, and ease our pain.

For me, the purpose of counselling is to begin reducing my clients emotional pain, first by helping them become aware of what thoughts are causing the pain, and then helping them to have “Epiphanies” or Ah-ha moments that help them to see things from a higher perspective. These epiphanies are new neural connections. I believe that if your coach or counsellor is not facilitating “epiphanies” then you’re probably wasting your money.

Our thinking also causes peace and pleasure

There is another set of thought patterns that create peace and pleasure. They create a lack of pain and a sense of wholeness. Getting to these higher thought patterns are not as difficult as you might think. It’s like a staircase you go up one level at a time. For example, if you are feeling Depression, you could go up a level to Anxiety, stay there a little while, then you could go up another level to Anger. Slowly working your way up beyond the painful levels, to the levels of peace, pleasure and joy.

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